New Year's is SOMEHOW right around the corner again. Time seriously just flies faster and faster, doesn't it? And you know what that means??
NEW YEAR'S PARTY follow up by NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS!!
Even if you don't typically set wellness goals for the new year the meat and potatoes of this post can help you out because it can be applied to any time of the year, for any goal really, so stick around!
For my New Year's goal setter- I bet you've been considering your health goals again- losing weight, getting off of, or reducing, some medications, gaining some muscle, finally improving your diet- the list goes on, right?
Here's the thing with New Year's resolutions...people are typically HIGHLY motivated to achieve goals at the beginning of the year and when we're highly motivated, we're more likely to plan BIG changes that require a high level of consistency... but once a few weeks go by, the holidays are done, and real life sets back in, the motivation goes down and so does consistency.
Let's use Sally as an example...
Sally is determined AF to lose 50 pounds by June, because she knows it'll help her feel less anxious about her cholesterol and blood sugar levels- not to mention she'll feel better about how she looks. Each year her doc keeps saying that she needs to lose weight and get her cholesterol and sugar under control and this year she WILL! She's already got it all planned out, too! She's going to walk 10,000 steps per day, lift 5 days per week, hardcore stick to her diet- NO cheat days, drink a gallon of water every day, and cut out all sweets! Plus, Sally wants to do better with self-care so she's going to meditate for 20 minutes every day, journal, do yoga every morning, and get out in nature every weekend. She's planned it all out in her schedule, she's got the fun-colored pens and notebook, she downloaded the apps, she has her workout program ready- everything is set to go on January 1st!
The 3rd week of January rolls around and Sally is TIRED. She's been getting up at 5:30 am to workout at 6:00 am, but over the last week or so she's been missing days. She hasn't had the energy to cook meals, so she's ate out a few times- which has been gnawing at the back of her brain because she KNOWS her doc would be on her about it. She's subsisting on caffeine and quick snacks which are causing her to ride this roller coaster of jitters and crashes, and her anxiety is through the roof! She hasn't meditated in 2 weeks, and she never actually started writing in her journal.
Sally looks over her carefully planned out schedule and just feels overwhelmed, defeated, and stressed that she's failing AGAIN. She shoves it a way and collapses in a huff on her couch. She just can't do it. Maybe she'll try again in February.
Sound familiar?
Here's how to set new year's resolutions that will reduce stress and build wellness in a sustainable way.
BUT FIRST, let's talk about your mindset around this. There are 6 things you HAVE to accept if you want to be successful this year:
1 Only pick one or two things to focus on for now
If you try to change too much at once you're only going to get overwhelmed and ultimately crash and burn. Then you'll feel like a failure and perpetuate the cycle of starting and stopping.
2 Take small steps that make sense for your life
For example, if you're not working out at all right now, plus you work full time, have kids in various activities, and whatever other commitments you have, then adding in the gym 5 days a week for 1 hour will likely be a little much. Instead try small steps that make sense which could be something like going to the gym for 30 minutes two times a week when your kids are at basketball practice. Once you get that flow then add on another day or two that can fit into your life without stressing you out. We're aiming for LESS stress and anxiety while building wellness, my peeps.
3 Understand that anything you're working towards is going to take time
It took you years to get to where you are now- to accumulate the learnings, mindset, beliefs, and habits that have culminated into the person you are right now. With all due respect, how in the hell do you think you'd change everything to what you want it to be in a month?! 3 months? Even 6 months? Be real with yourself chickadee. You have to BECOME the person who has what you want for yourself. Learning how to be healthy and maintain it is a skill. Skills can be learned with consistent practice and time.
4 Set up some kind of accountability system
You can reach your goal on your own, but you're much more likely to stick to it if you have someone to keep you accountable- all the way up to 95% more likely- if you enlist someone to keep you accountable on a regular schedule (learn more about this here). This could be a friend, your partner, or a professional coach (such as myself) that can help you clarify the goal, strategize, and consistently implement the steps needed to be successful. If you want a bomb ass level of support that, by this time next year, will have helped you absolutely blast your goal straight out of the water, send me a message here!
5 If you feel overwhelmed looking at the plan you have for yourself then it's too much
Seriously, keep it simple. Small changes at a time. Not only will small changes be much more realistic and easier to do consistently, but you'll also build your confidence and ability to follow through because you see yourself succeeding! Check out this post to see how simple basic things are what you actually need to focus on- not giant dramatic changes- and how to implement them.
6 This is a LIFESTYLE change
You have to come to terms with the fact that to achieve what you want will require you to become a different version of you. There's no way around it. You can't keep living off of fast food, coffee, and little sleep if you want to feel GOOD, have energy, and not battle high levels of anxiety and stress every day.
Okay now that we've got that all cleared up here's how to set a New Year's resolution that reduces stress and builds wellness that is actually achievable, and keepable, in the long term:
Step 1: Get clear on your goal
What are you trying to achieve overall? I encourage you to think outside the box of weight loss (if that's usually what your goal is). Are you wanting to reduce the need for certain medications? Maybe you're wanting to be able to go on a hike with your family this summer without taking breaks every 5 minutes. Maybe you want to reduce anxiety and stress that nags at you on the daily. Get super clear about this!
Step 2: Know what achieving this goal do for you (ie why it's important)
It could mean less doctor visits and lowered medical costs. Perhaps it's more quality time doing fun activities with family. Maybe it's feeling calm and confident at work because you have energy and can actually think clearly for the first time in years. The meaning you give to this is so, so important because it will help you stick to it when you really don't want to put the effort in.
Step 3: Find out what a person does that has already achieved this goal
Whether you know this individual personally, as a friend of a friend, or some other way, learn what they did to achieve what you're trying to do. What daily habits, mindset, and support did/do they have? I say did/do because they didn't just stop doing whatever led them to success otherwise, they would lose what they worked so hard for. They became the person who has what they wanted. Consider these things when you create your own game plan.
Step 4: Break down the goal into a few smaller goals
This is where the previous step comes in handy because you could already have a bit of a road map that you just need to modify to fit your life. For example, if you're wanting to reduce your daily stress and anxiety, then some smaller goals could be to improve your sleep, reduce your caffeine intake, and eat more consistently (ie not skipping meals!). Those 3 things will go a long way towards making you feel calmer and in control.
Step 5: What small steps can you take to achieve ONE of the smaller goals that makes sense for your life right now?
Choose just ONE of the smaller goals you came up with and decide what actions you can start taking TODAY to achieve it. Continuing with the example from above let's say you decide to improve your sleep. A few small steps you could do to improve your sleep could be implementing a bedtime, getting off of your phone at least 30 minutes before you lay down, and ensuring your sleep environment is conducive to deep rest. Nail those down then move on to the next small goal.
Step 6: How will you know when you've achieved each goal?
Make sure to have a specific outcome that will let you know that the steps you are taking are working. It could be that you're falling asleep around the same time every night, you fall asleep faster, or you're waking up without hitting snooze on your alarm. And make sure to celebrate it! It's a win! Acknowledging wins motivates us to keep going!
No more changing 100 things all at one time that don't even make sense for your life.
No more trying to beat yourself into submission to achieve unrealistic goals.
No more feeling overwhelmed and stressed because you just can't seem to make things happen.
Realistic goal setting and planning plus small steps taken consistently over time is essential to your success.
Need some help with this? Send me a message and let's talk to see if my coaching is what you need to help you EMBODY the health and wellness that you want!
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